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Super Hornet
One of my preferred categories in news stories is “events that echo the first five or ten minutes of a disaster flick.” Titles like “Tremors near Major City” and “Scientists Develop an Aging Robot with Machine Guns for Arms” come to mind. For example, a giant mysterious black sarcophagus discovered in Egypt (yes, this one is real).
So, when we glimpsed a headline from the BBC news on July 31st, we were understandably concerned: “Radioactive hornet nest discovered at an old U.S. nuclear weapons site.”
The nest was identified on the Savannah River grounds close to Aiken, South Carolina, a location previously known for producing nuclear bomb components during the Cold War and currently housing millions of gallons of liquid nuclear waste. Investigators, however, calmed down concerns by stating none of the tanks were leaking. Rather, the nest was discovered to be harboring “onsite legacy radioactive contamination,” which refers to leftover contamination from past plutonium production.
Notably, the nest was sprayed to eliminate any wasps, subsequently bagged as radioactive waste. Thankfully, no bees were found, leading to speculations that they might have perished from radiation exposure and mutated into some chaotic form. However, I’ve watched enough Godzilla films to know that radiation typically causes creatures to grow rather than disappear. Let’s hope 2025 doesn’t bring a giant radioactive hornet invasion along the East Coast.
As a precaution, we dug out our aging copies of New Scientist‘s book Do You Eat Wasps? to learn that various creatures, including badgers and birds (of course), prey on striped insects, along with other insects like dragonflies. We consider sending badger families to the Savannah River site due to the substantial radiation; it seems like the only effective solution.
What to do if Your Dog Takes Cocaine
Reporter Matthew Sparks was combing through a press release when he stumbled upon a intriguingly phrased title. “What to do if your dog takes cocaine?” Instantly, the first suggestion from Feedback was to “take it for a walk,” but that’s neither a solution nor appropriate.
This press release referred to a Clinical Report relating to a case of a Chihuahua who experienced “acute onset of lethargy and a temporary episode of unresponsiveness.” It was revealed that the dog’s urine contained “cocaine, cocaine metabolites, norfentanyl, and trace amounts of fentanyl.” This mixture appeared to slow the dog’s heartbeat, an issue that was effectively managed by the attending veterinarian.
While the dog is fine now, it’s challenging to envision how bewildered the Chihuahuas must have been.
Upon further exploration, I found that dogs have a “history of culinary indifference.” This makes sense. I recall a rather dim spaniel we had that ate everything she discovered on the ground, despite its unsanitary nature and the chaotic aftermath on her digestive system. Living where we did, this predominantly consisted of discarded takeaway boxes and heaps of fox excrement. Still, one wonders what she might have sampled if we’d taken her for a stroll around Soho, London.
Curtailing Academic Jargon
Feedback often finds themselves perusing the references list at the end of academic papers, seeking crucial context. Many of these appear as structures like “Thomas, Richard & Harold, “The Very Complex Things”, Nature Vol. 13 P 666 (1984).”
In an effort to save space, academic journal titles are frequently abbreviated, and these can often be perplexing. For example, we were recently bemused to discover a journal abbreviated simply as Fish fish. Was the editor particularly enthusiastic about vertebrates that inhabit freshwater? Turns out the complete title is actually Fish and Fisheries.
Our curiosity sparked, leading us to wonder if this was indeed the most absurd abbreviation of a journal title.
There are evident trends. For instance, “analysis” tends to be abbreviated to “anal,” which can lead to unfortunate titles such as Advances in Risk Analysis becoming ADV risk anal and Accident Analysis and Prevention being shortened to Before the Accident Analysis. Similarly, many journal titles include library-related terminology, helping to explain why Zeitschrift Für Bibliothekswesen und Bibliographie is humorously abbreviated as Z bibl bibl.
Several abbreviated titles may risk creating confusion. The American Chemical Society has launched a whole series titled Advances in Arsenic Research, but it certainly didn’t yield what we anticipated.
The sheer number of journals paired with feedback’s limited lifespan means it’s nearly impossible to locate the most ridiculous abbreviation. Therefore, we’d like to invite a broader audience to help in our quest for the funniest journal title abbreviations.
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Source: www.newscientist.com
