The final update on Rick’s journey to overcome cell phone addiction allows him to make a breakthrough. And a big one.
“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” I ask Almond one day.
She’s flipping through a plastic-like bag of Thai basil from a record store. “I already am. That’s what it is,” she said patiently, taking my hand. Oh yes, I say. got it. nice.
Two months after my last diary entry, something strange happened. I dismissed this experiment as a waste of time, but it seems to be yielding skewed results. Currently, I use my smartphone for 90 minutes a day. Five of those are spent on Instagram. I no longer feel addictive. Part of the reason my online life has decreased is because I no longer have to scour the savanna to find a mate. However, that alone does not determine everything.
All the experts I spoke to gave reassuringly similar advice. Oddly enough, some of my most impactful conversations about technology were with Buddhists in cafes without Wi-Fi. Sthiramanas is a meditation teacher at the London Buddhist Center and runs his Upgrade Your Mind, his six-week course on mindful screen use.
“Looking outward for satisfaction is a fundamental human weakness,” he says. Sthiramanas doesn’t just mean infinite scrolling. Heading to a quiet retreat or digital detox his cabin in the woods is also an escape from everyday life. What they learn often doesn’t stick with them by the time they get home. “If you want your life to be happier and more creative, you have to experience life as it is and change things from there.
“What is desire? Under Want to check your phone? ” he continued. “If you’re addicted to dating apps, is it because you want to feel attractive? If you’re a news addict, are you addicted to feeling in control? Or is it because you want to feel like you’re in control? Are you in touch? Are you texting your friends all the time just because you want to be loved?”
ah. When did these Buddhists choose violence?
Ever since that chat, I think of friendship as mostly an offline activity. What we do with our bodies. My friends are great at arranging day trips to the seaside, dancing, and cooking for each other. Laughing in the same space is nourishing. Sounds Waltons-esque, but better than meta. I still find him texting his friends frequently throughout the day, but when he doesn’t, it’s fun not being able to see them. Maybe I’ve gone crazy.
Always-on connectivity is a new expectation, and meeting it can be challenging. My biggest fear about turning off my cell phone was missing a call from my girlfriend’s mother if she fell. But I realized that at the root of my resistance was a fear of control. And someday we all have to give it up. “You can also set up a landline for emergencies and give that number only to your loved ones,” suggests Stiramanath. That’s a good idea.
Another slow burn is the increase in time spent reading. I think that’s why I no longer spend the entire day on Instagram. Now, when I open any social media app, I feel like… stupid. Perhaps concentration is actually a muscle, and when you build muscle, you try to lift heavier. Of course, there are many people who enjoy both. This is not to say that all social media content is shallow and meaningless. (I think so too!)
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Is it possible to enjoy the reality of “boring” life without fantasies of escape? This was a very important question for me.
I’ll clean up my apartment more. look It’s more than that. I continued to walk 10,000 steps. I still like filling out fitness tracking circles, but I’m not as obsessive about it. I can feel the effects on my body. Sometimes you forget your cell phone at home. It’s a mental reset to feel the atmosphere like you’re not anywhere else. And I’m much happier than before.
If you’re a fan of capitalism, I should point out that my freelance income has increased and my productivity has increased. I don’t think it’s helpful to malign tech companies too much, and I’ve stopped anthropomorphizing my phone. A shiny, infinitely content machine is neither your muse nor your cold lover nor your nemesis. It’s a tool. More than anything it’s my barometer of dissatisfaction.
When I realize that I have that weight in my hands, and the force that distracts me and tries to escape, I try to diagnose what is really going on inside me. Are you worried about something? am i lonely? What better way to meet my needs? I’m learning to believe that even if I’m just bored, there’s creativity hidden there.
Who could have predicted this? My smartphone, like a canary in the coal mine, represents what’s most important to me: days without sleepwalking. The thief of my life? No one can steal my life.
Unfortunately, I am now addicted to sugar.
Source: www.theguardian.com
