After a year of exhausting research, I have definitively proven something I suspected since the Covid-19 lockdowns began: namely, that everybody else has had a much better pandemic experience than me.
I’m joking, of course. I know this is totally untrue. However, as we slowly emerge from our collective Covid-19 hibernation, there will likely be some folks who won’t be able to stop waxing nostalgic about the past year. I’ve divided them into seven “lockdown success” categories to help provide some insight into why these individuals aren’t as excited as the rest of us to see this global pandemic fade into the rearview mirror.
While on the one hand many individuals were Marie Kondo-ing the heck out of their lives, others were running out and purchasing different (but presumably more joy-filled) items. And while I’m not sure that gas grills, outdoor furniture and propane heat lamps spark joy in everyone, these things sure would have helped me get through this past winter of my discontent.
These are the folks who miraculously lost 20 pounds while simultaneously baking Instagram-worthy loaves of sourdough bread in tiny studio apartment ovens, or the men who grew out their hair and beards and now look like Justin Trudeau, only hotter. It’s like a classic rom-com where the main character goes from ugly duckling to swan, but in this case all that was required was several months inside without a haircut.
Who are these people? How did anyone manage to find love in the middle of a giant, worldwide pandemic? These individuals must have been born with immunity to Zoom fatigue and a genetic predisposition toward extremely strong texting thumbs. Hopefully these romances, whose foundations were built upon shared Covid-19 hygiene measures, are able to last even when it doesn’t look like the world is coming to an end.
These are the ones who honestly enjoyed spending hours alone reveling in their own company. Constantly posting solo selfies on social media with single cups of tea, purring cats and actual paper books, these introverts are redefining hygge and hoping the Zoom calls, or at least the social distance, continue even after the pandemic is over.
Rachel Greenblatt is a U.S.-based humor writer with a newfound admiration for New Zealand.