How Rising Individualism is Impacting Modern Love Lives

Recent findings suggest that individualism, which emphasizes personal goals over communal ones, is increasingly shaping our views on romantic relationships. One of the largest studies of love indicates that this trend may not necessarily be detrimental.

“Being entirely in love and dependent” can hinder your productivity and focus on important tasks, according to Yaroslava Valira Valentova, a professor at the University of São Paulo in Brazil, who was not a participant in the study. Interestingly, she notes, shifting attention from a romantic partner could enable more time and energy for other relationships and personal interests.

Prior research highlights that individualism is rising globally. “In my observation, the newest generation is becoming increasingly self-centered and individualistic compared to earlier generations,” states Julie Aitken Shermer from Western University in Ontario, Canada, who also did not engage in the study.

This shift towards individualism may be influenced by modern phenomena such as globalization and the proliferation of social media. However, research on its impact on romantic love yields mixed results; studies show this is possibly due to past research focusing on limited geographical areas. Marta Kowal presented this new research at a recent conference at the University of Wrocław in Poland on the subject of love in its various facets.

Her team surveyed over 61,000 adults, aged between 18 to 90, from 81 countries who had been in romantic relationships varying from weeks to years.

Participants completed an online survey evaluating the intensity of their love for their partner by ranking statements such as “I feel a deep emotional bond with this person” on a scale of 1 to 5, alongside additional queries about the importance of group versus individual success on a scale from 1 to 7.

Collectively, these findings revealed a connection: participants exhibiting a more individualistic mindset reported experiencing less romantic love, even when controlling for variables like gender, age, and socio-economic status. The researchers duplicated this outcome with over 6,000 additional adult partners from 50 countries.

The researchers found that as individualism impacted our ability to connect, our romantic feelings often diminished. Thomas Curran from the London School of Economics and Political Science observes, “If you concentrate solely on your individuality, you become more competitive, perceiving everyone as rivals for limited resources. Consequently, when interacting with others, the focus becomes, ‘How can I portray my best self?'”

This attitude may hinder emotional vulnerability, which Curran notes is essential for deep love. “Revealing your true self to others can be challenging,” he mentions.

If you believe that individualism is undermining your romantic relationships, solutions exist. Shermer suggests that promoting a communal mindset—possibly through therapy—can be beneficial.

Kowal’s team plans to track around 2,000 couples in Poland over a year to explore how the depth of romantic love influences overall happiness.