Is Waking Up Six Times a Night Due to Your Partner a Problem?

Sleeping with your partner can lead to more nighttime awakenings compared to sleeping alone. While these disturbances are often fleeting and forgotten by morning, strategies exist to minimize their impact.

As Sean Drummond from Monash University in Melbourne, Australia notes, “Research indicates that while people perceive they sleep better together, objective measurements show greater disruption during shared sleep.”

To explore the effects of co-sleeping, Lionel Rayward from Queensland University of Technology conducted a comprehensive review. This review revealed that partner-related movements during co-sleeping occur in 30-46% of couples, meaning when one partner adjusts, the other often follows.

For instance, a sleep study found an average of 51 leg movements per night when individuals slept alone versus 62 movements when sharing a bed. This translates to approximately two additional awakenings per night as monitored by scalp electrodes.

The review included a study where couples wore movement-tracking smartwatches during sleep. On average, participants woke up six times a night due to their partner’s movements, yet only remembered one disturbance the next day, indicating that most disruptions are minor and consequently have little impact on overall sleep quality, according to Drummond.

However, if a partner snores or suffers from insomnia, sleep issues can escalate. Drummond states, “Individuals with insomnia tend to toss and turn more, which leads to greater disturbances for their partner.”

These challenges may prompt what some term “sleep divorces,” where partners opt to sleep separately to minimize disturbances. While separate sleeping arrangements aren’t inherently unhealthy, some couples perceive it as a relationship failure. Drummond advocates for addressing the source of sleep disruptions instead.

Drummond’s research found that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can effectively assist couples when one partner struggles with insomnia. When both partners participate in therapy, both tend to experience improved sleep.

If blanket hogging or differing temperature preferences are issues, Rayward and colleagues suggest the “Scandinavian method”—sharing the same bed but using separate blankets.

For snoring, treatments range from continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) machines to dentist-designed mandibular advancement devices that reposition the jaw to improve airflow. Amal Osman from Flinders University emphasizes that some individuals only snore when lying on their backs, which can be mitigated by using a backpack while sleeping to encourage side-sleeping.

Studies show that about 80-90% of couples in the UK and US share a bed, while in Japan, it’s common for mothers to sleep with their children, and fathers often sleep in different rooms.

Co-sleeping has been a prevalent sleep arrangement throughout human history, providing warmth and security. Remarkably, some of the oldest known mattresses, including a 77,000-year-old plant mattress found in South Africa, were designed to accommodate entire families.

In pre-industrial societies like the Hadza of Tanzania, family members typically sleep in close quarters. Interestingly, Hadza adults often wake up at intervals throughout the night, with research indicating that 40 percent may stay awake for varying periods, likely to ensure someone is alert to potential dangers. Despite these disturbances, they report minimal sleep problems.

This suggests that occasional disturbances from co-sleeping partners may not warrant significant concern. Drummond concludes, “In reality, everyone wakes up multiple times throughout the night; no one sleeps continuously.”