Understanding Our Distrust of Altruism: Why Are We Suspicious of Good Deeds?

If you’re a fan of Friends, you may recall a specific episode where aspiring actor Joey Tribbiani, portrayed by Matt LeBlanc, hosts a charity telethon on PBS. “A bit of good for PBS and some TV exposure—it’s Joey’s favorite calculation!” he humorously states.

Meanwhile, Phoebe Buffay, played by Lisa Kudrow, challenges him: “This isn’t a good deed. I want to be on TV—it’s totally self-serving.” Their debate sharpens as Joey argues that all acts of kindness stem from selfish motives, while Phoebe searches for examples of genuine altruism.

This dynamic resonates with insights from recent studies on “contempt for good deeds,” highlighting our innate skepticism toward the selflessness of others. Like Phoebe, we often suspect ulterior motives and may end up criticizing them more than those acting solely out of self-interest.

Take, for instance, the well-known public goods game. In this experiment, participants are given small amounts of money, with an option to contribute to a communal pot. As interest accrues, the overall value increases, benefiting everyone involved.

While contributing maximizes everyone’s gain, there’s a risk: selfish individuals can exploit the pot while contributing little. Surprisingly, generous contributors often face backlash from peers, who feel that their selfless actions cast them in a bad light. “When asked about their resentment, many said: ‘Nobody else is doing that’—and it’s true. Their generosity makes the rest of us look inadequate,” notes psychologist Nicola Raihani, in her book published at University College London, The Social Instinct.

In some scenarios, players can even pay to punish those displaying altruistic behavior, demonstrating our competitive nature and suspicion of those attempting to elevate their status through philanthropy.

Interestingly, our judgments often become harsher in altruistic settings. For instance, consider a friend who volunteers at a homeless shelter. Although he appears genuinely concerned, he might actually have a crush on the manager, Kim. By disguising his intentions, he ultimately succeeds in dating her.

Surprisingly, research indicates that we judge such motives more harshly in altruism than in less charitable situations. A study suggests that we view Andy more negatively compared to a barista who similarly seeks to build rapport with their supervisor. This skewed perception exemplifies what’s known as the “dirty altruism effect,” as discussed in this research paper.

This idea is deeply examined in a paper by Sebastian Hafenbreidl at the University of Navarra, Spain. His research points to unconscious evaluations where social rewards for goodwill are weighed against the cost of those actions. He found that what tarnishes altruistic actors isn’t merely self-interest but the perception that they seek undeserved social rewards, tarnishing their image as genuine contributors.

In one of his experiments, participants rated Andy, who volunteered at a homeless shelter or a coffee shop. Results showed that Andy’s volunteering was perceived as less moral when he was suspected of ulterior motives compared to his work as a barista. Interestingly, confiding his true intentions led participants to judge him more favorably.

Further validating his findings, Hafenbreidl explored a scenario involving Tom, a Maldives resort owner spending $100,000 on beach clean-up efforts. Participants rated Tom as less moral when his intentions were publicized for business gains compared to an observation made in private.

Some individuals may volunteer simply to feel good, which although still selfish, is often judged less harshly than those who seek social accolades from their altruism. Interestingly, Hafenbreidl’s study found that individuals who donate for self-fulfillment are viewed as more moral than those attempting to bolster their reputation, though not as favorably as those who claim no ulterior motives.

This notion might resonate with Phoebe. By the end of the Friends episode, she decides to donate to Joey’s telethon, despite her aversion to PBS, demonstrating that her actions still brought joy to Joey, thus proving her point.

Perhaps Joey was onto something: true altruism might not exist. Personally, I welcome the idea of forgiving those whose self-serving intentions lead to more kindness in the world—after all, there are certainly worse motivations than that.

David Robson’s latest book is The Law of Connection: 13 Social Strategies That Will Change Your Life. If you have a question for David, reach out at: www.davidrobson.me/contact