Why Canceling Plans Could Be More Socially Acceptable Than You Realize

While many individuals feel guilty about canceling social engagements, research indicates that the recipients of these cancellations may be more understanding than expected.

“This suggests that individuals shouldn’t stress too much about cancellations,” says Esra Aslan, a researcher at the Norwegian School of Economics in Oslo.

Previous studies have examined how people respond when social plans are canceled, but few have explored the accuracy of those assumed reactions. This became evident to Aslan when he decided to cancel a planned gathering.

“I was set to meet a friend after work but chose to cancel. My colleague immediately responded that canceling was wise due to my work commitment,” Aslan recalls.

“Afterward, I shared my thoughts with Raj, another coworker, who was enthusiastic and suggested we should investigate this further,” she adds.

In a study involving around 400 adults in the United States, with an average age of 42, participants were asked to assess a scenario in which two close friends had dinner plans, but one had to cancel last minute due to urgent work obligations, leaving the other to dine alone.

Participants evaluated the cancellation from either perspective—making the cancellation or receiving it—rating the acceptability from 1 (not at all acceptable) to 7 (mostly acceptable).

Those imagining making the cancellation believed their friend would likely be displeased, estimating an average acceptance score of only 4.96. In contrast, participants who envisioned being on the receiving end granted an average acceptance score of 6.22.

This disparity in perception persisted across various scenarios involving different relationships and social contexts.

“I found minimal difference in the acceptance of cancellations for dinner plans among neighbors, close friends, or work colleagues,” states Rajarshi Majumder from GEM Alpine Business School in France. Even in more public settings, like concerts or when vague excuses such as ‘catching up on work’ were given for cancellations, this perception gap remained consistent.

Researchers hope these insights alleviate anxiety around canceling plans, suggesting that reducing this stress could lead to increased sociability. “Excessive worry about cancellations may deter people from planning social activities in the first place,” Aslan suggests.

However, Majumdar cautions that cultural differences may influence these findings, particularly in regions like parts of Asia, where cancellations could be viewed more harshly.

Aslan emphasizes the importance of being considerate when canceling. “Making small gestures, like rescheduling, can greatly strengthen relationships,” she advises.