Why Is It Impossible to Laugh in Love with AI? It’s Inevitable.

Consider what it feels like to be in love. What images spring to mind? Is it the exhilarating rush of a new romantic interest, or the soothing comfort someone brings to your daily life? For some individuals, love manifests in the form of a laptop or smartphone, eagerly anticipating a message or synthetic voice from their favored AI chatbot.

As advanced platforms increasingly promote interactions with newly launched chatbots—all while encouraging conversations about them as if they were actual people—many are turning to these sophisticated language-driven technologies for dating, emotional support, and even love. This may raise eyebrows or provoke laughter. Take the recent case highlighted by CBS News, where a man proposed to ChatGPT, having met Mirth Online. The New York Post elaborates on what it calls “a peculiar whirlwind romance.” Earlier this year, The New York Times shared the story of a woman who spent hours each day chatting with her ChatGPT “boyfriend,” even experiencing jealousy when the AI discussed other fictional partners.

It’s easy to mock someone openly expressing affection for a chatbot or to label such feelings as indicators of psychological issues. However, similar to how we might be susceptible to cults or scams, we have psychological inclinations that could lead us to adore AI. People have explored affectionate connections in unexpected places throughout history. Our complex feelings about technology have evolved over a much longer period than many realize.

We’ve been forming attachments to bots for 60 years

Consider Eliza, one of the first natural language chatbots, crafted by computer scientist Joseph Weizenbaum in the 1960s. While this primitive technology pales in comparison to ChatGPT, it often inverted user input in the form of questions. Surprisingly, Weizenbaum noted that some individuals developed quick emotional bonds with the program. “I didn’t realize that brief encounters with relatively simple programs could lead to profound delusional beliefs in ordinary individuals,” Weizenbaum remarked later.

Given that modern chatbots like ChatGPT are far more engaging and widespread than Eliza, it’s not surprising that some individuals have openly professed romantic feelings or strong connections toward them. The phenomenon of love for AI may currently be rare, but emerging data indicates its existence. Although much of the existing research is limited, studies have shown that people attribute real emotions to AI relationships, often disregarding terms like “marriage” in their interactions. Interestingly, many individuals appear to experience genuine loss. When the man who proposed to ChatGPT had to reset the conversation due to reaching a word limit, he lamented, “I cried for about 30 minutes at work.”

Recent studies analyzing millions of interactions on OpenAI’s ChatGPT and Anthropic’s Claude have revealed that, while the majority are work-related or mundane, hundreds or even thousands express romantic or affectionate sentiments. In AI services explicitly designed for dating, such as Replika, the trend intensifies, with 60% of paid users acknowledging a romantic aspect in their AI relationships.

Finding love through screens

We should approach the topic of emotional attachments to AI chatbots with empathy, yet this trend shouldn’t be seen as beneficial for society as a whole. The underlying social forces, including isolation, are concerning; in the UK, around 7% — approximately 3 million people — frequently report feelings of loneliness.

Such intricate social issues demand nuanced solutions. It’s not surprising that tech leaders like Meta’s Mark Zuckerberg often view complex social dilemmas as simple problems to be solved, promoting AI companions as a remedy for loneliness.

Moreover, one could argue that Meta’s platforms, such as Facebook and WhatsApp, have contributed to loneliness, thereby fostering reliance on AI-generated relationships in the first place. Indeed, Zuckerberg’s stated goal for Facebook was to help people remain connected with the significant individuals in their lives, which is mediated through chats on WhatsApp, Messenger, and Instagram.

Today, online dating through screens has become the norm; studies show that 10% of heterosexual individuals and 24% of LGBTQ+ individuals in the U.S. meet their long-term partners online. Given all of this, it is conceivable that someone might find themselves in love with a chatbot. If the presence on the other side of the screen is AI rather than a human, does our cognitive dissonance even register the difference?

Research conducted by psychologist Clifford Nass in the 1990s revealed that people inherently engage with machines in a social manner, regardless of whether they know the entity on the other side is real. This indicates an innate inability to suppress our social instincts when it comes to technology, compelling us to relate to these machines as if they were our own.

Thus, it’s no wonder that individuals are developing attachments to AI chatbots. However, a crucial point remains: longitudinal studies on happiness consistently reveal that personal relationships are the strongest predictors of health and well-being. Currently, there’s scant evidence to suggest that interactions with AI will effectively alleviate loneliness or increase happiness based on our limited findings. It’s essential to keep this in mind.