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Last year, I was punched in the nose by a lesbian during a Monday night coed football game. It was Tim Winton’s dreamy evening. The jacarandas were fresh and blooming, and at the end of the year, that manicured fist touched my face squarely, if only by chance. People laughed, as millennials naturally do at violence that made sense to the first internet generation, who grew up on a diet of Australia’s funniest home videos and Mad TV music parodies (unfortunately, none of these make the list).
As a silly gay clown, laughter is my currency. I look forward to walking you through the order of neuroses that have plagued me for millennia. So let’s get in my brain, his broken 1993 Honda Civic, and drive around the old internet guy’s lane.
1. Actress
Every gay man has a ride-or-die diva, and mine is unashamedly Emma Stone. This SNL sketch, written by famous homos Bowen Yang and Julio Torres, is pristine. You can imagine a beautiful world by thinking about other points of view. And yes, that includes wives being cheated on with gay porn. Bravo.
2. The struggle of Amsterdam housewives
Beast. Let’s talk about her husband. These aren’t punch lines, but very well executed takedowns. The building and building drama of this scene is perfect. Private has become public. Do you realize I still have Hecs debt for my communications degree and haven’t started paying it off yet?
3. George Michaels Outside
Forget about the handsome guy in the Senate. Because George Michael’s Outside music video has the most cheek. Camp has its own unique sense of humor, and this is a masterclass in applause. Nineties outings aside, there’s a punch line that says, “I want to serve my community, and I’m already doing that,” and there’s also a bathroom disco cruising show and Tom of Finland drag. There’s no doubt that one of my favorite videos of his is about going outside.
4. Mama Makes Me Milo
I often say that tragedy and time are comedies, but it’s boring, and I don’t like being bored. I’m more of a comedy equivalent of Hot Department mixed with childhood nostalgia. If I’m laughing out loud alone in my house, most of the time it’s because of this devil. I couldn’t ask for a higher compliment. Check out this sketch to see your good constitution.
5. Kim Cattrall cheated on her husband
Not to beg, borrow, or steal from another funny list (looking at you, Madeleine Gray), but on the same day we both sat in the backyard of a gay bar in Santa Monica drinking margaritas. When I was there, I was asked to write this column. Immediately after the match, we both knew this was going to be a winner. Seriousness. “scat”. All I know is that her husband can play me like an upright bass any day. What a fuss!
6. Caleb Hearon performs the sacred art of stand-up comedy
If you follow any stand-up comedian on any platform these days, you’re likely inundated with crowd work clips. It seems like an easy way to generate content without wasting material constantly trying to exploit algorithms. They’re controversial in the community, but we’re all just shouting into the void for attention, so give them all the power. This clip by Caleb Hearon ignores all that and is just classic stand-up. Get out.
