It was the perfect backdrop for a Nancy Meyers film. We found ourselves at a friend’s rehearsal dinner in Oregon’s wine country, nestled in a rustic-chic barn that exuded a subtle sense of luxury. “This venue is amazing,” I said to the groom-to-be. He leaned in as if to share a secret: “Found it on ChatGPT.”
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As he explained that he had incorporated generative AI into the early stages of his wedding planning, a smile crept onto my face. (They also hired a human wedding planner.) They were attentive, yet I realized that if my future partner approached me with wedding suggestions from ChatGPT, the wedding would be off.
Many have non-negotiable preferences in relationships. I don’t smoke, I love cats, and I wish to have children. With recent warnings about the impending AI crisis dominating my newsfeed and conversations, I formulated a new boundary: I won’t date anyone who uses ChatGPT. (To be fair, it could refer to any generative AI, but with 700 million weekly users, ChatGPT is my primary target.)
I’ve heard all the hypothetical scenarios. I use it in my professional life, but what lies beyond? What if it benefits others? What if you just want to utilize it as a proofing tool? Personally, I never use it to “write” anything. I believe there are people out there who can genuinely assist you, but I’m not one of them.
The phrase “feeling sick” signifies being turned off. Sometimes, we encounter behaviors that irk us—like the time I felt nauseated watching a man sip a smoothie through a straw. Initially, my distaste for ChatGPT seemed trivial, a baseless detestation.
Now, in the fall of 2025, using this program for even mundane tasks like crafting a fitness plan or selecting an outfit feels increasingly like a political statement. We’re aware that energy-consuming technologies drain water supplies and escalate electricity costs. It’s marketed as a helper for building relationships, yet isolated individuals are forging connections with algorithms instead of people—a current reality, not just a plot for sci-fi. The tech moguls spearheading this shift prioritize profit over humanity.
Sure, ChatGPT can help draft a shopping list. But does your convenience surpass the potential social repercussions?
As if that weren’t enough, ChatGPT has somehow exacerbated the dating scene. A good friend shared a recent experience where, after spending the night with a guy, she suggested breakfast. He pulled out his phone, opened ChatGPT, and asked for restaurant recommendations. Why would anyone want to date someone who offloads decision-making—especially for something as enjoyable as choosing a place to eat? If they’re too lazy to plan a first date with ChatGPT, how little effort will they expend in six months?
It’s hard to envision a deep, meaningful relationship with someone who frequently engages with technology that erodes our focus and possibly hints at our ultimate downfall. Intellectual curiosity, creativity, originality—if you equate productivity with an app summarizing a movie to save time, we likely don’t share the same values.
Ali Jackson, a New York-based dating coach, uses ChatGPT for some tasks but isn’t an advocate. Over the past six months, she notes many clients have expressed frustration with “chat phishing” and the use of AI-generated content even for dating apps. When I questioned Jackson about my critiques of ChatGPT users, she replied, “No, you can set your own boundaries, but that might limit your dating pool.” Approximately 10% of adults currently use this technology.
“Ask yourself if your preferences truly align with your long-term aspirations,” advises Jackson. “In your situation, I believe this could reflect a core value. It’s crucial to find someone who resonates with your principles.”
People’s aversion to AI extends beyond dating. Ana Pereira, 26, a sound engineer in Brooklyn, fantasizes about disabling AI features on her phone, yet platforms like Google and Spotify make opting out nearly impossible. Pereira thinks using ChatGPT “indicates profound laziness.”
“You seem unable to think independently and rely on apps for help,” she remarked. Recently, two of her friends endured harsh breakups, and she supported one who turned to ChatGPT, a notoriously ineffective therapy, instead of their partner to express feelings. “They wanted to avoid uncomfortable emotions,” she stated. “However, processing emotions isn’t that simple.”
Luciano Noisine echoes a similar sentiment. Richard Burns, a 31-year-old marine biologist and restaurant server in Hawaii, is equally fatigued. “I’m not sure how I feel about people using ChatGPT, but my response would be, ‘Here we go.’ You don’t need to rely on it for a shopping list. Your life shouldn’t be that challenging. We can create one together.”
When director Guillermo del Toro declared he’d “rather die” than use generative AI, it grabbed attention, as did SZA’s harsh words about “environmental racism” and concerns over tech firms creating a “co-dependent” user base. Figures like Simu Liu and Emily Blunt have also criticized AI’s role in various industries. It’s no wonder such statements resonate with the public.
Even within the tech industry, nuances exist. Last month, Pinterest introduced filters that enable users to eliminate AI-generated content. Meta allows users to mute similar actions on Instagram, though it doesn’t disable it entirely. Reports have surfaced of some Silicon Valley engineers becoming more “cursor-resistant,” hesitant to rely on AI for coding.
Luciano Neusine, a principal software engineer based in Greece and the Netherlands, was once eager to use AI for coding assistance. However, he grew aware of his dependencies. “Before, I was just on autopilot,” said Noisine, 27. Recently, when planning a rendezvous with a friend three hours away by train, she suggested using ChatGPT to pick a meeting spot. “There’s a city right in between us,” he pointed out. “Why not just look at a map?”
I don’t intend to date a technology-dependent Luddite, but I aspire to lead a life unencumbered by ChatGPT’s influence. Recently, I declared this sentiment on my dating app profile, replying to Hinge’s prompt about what would disqualify a potential date with “You use ChatGPT for absolutely everything.” This clearly conveys my main points.
Source: www.theguardian.com
