Intimate Encounters with Strangers: Are We Stifling Personal Growth?

Intimate with Strangers
Tiffany Jenkins (Picador (UK, now available, US, July 15)))

What has become of our cherished privacy? In today’s world, nearly every detail about us is known, traded, and exploited by social media platforms. Click. I have the amusing attire your self-righteous uncle crafted this morning. Click. I have a friend lamenting the promotion I missed out on. Click. Indeed, there are those strangers who will share their bedrooms with you—for a price.

One might expect a book titled Intimate with Strangers: Ascending and Descending in Private Life to provide opinions on this subject—but it does so in a way that is richer and more thoughtfully considered than most discussions you’ll find.

Author Tiffany Jenkins, a cultural historian, states, “Many attribute the rise of self-indulgent individuals broadcasting their lives online to narcissism, as well as tech companies that consume personal data, while overlooking the deeper changes at play.” This book explores those profound shifts.

Jenkins chronicles these developments primarily in the 20th century, revealing their multifaceted nature. The chapters address everything from the invasive capabilities of small cameras to the disruptive effects of Kodak Veeder to the significant implications of Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky, which turned private matters into political upheaval.

Key highlights include the narratives of radical American groups in the 1960s, such as Students for a Democratic Society (SDS), who advocated for personal freedom yet ironically curtailed it. One activist couple even faced criticism for the “crime” of “Flagrant Monogamy,” as SDS yearned for purer and more innocent participants.

Even scientific thinkers aren’t exempt from this narrative. The early 20th-century activism of Paul Lazarsfeld, Edward Bernays, and Ernest Dichter focused on transforming people into data points. Though they meant no harm, their work undermined the notion that certain aspects of life should remain private and untouchable by corporate interests. The same can be said for Alfred Kinsey’s notorious research into human sexuality. Is nothing sacred?

However, privacy did not disappear outright in the 20th century. Instead, it adapted, evolved, and resisted. Jenkins references Griswold v. Connecticut (1965) and Katz v. United States, emphasizing that her analysis encompasses a complex mix of laws, cultures, technologies, and even housing policies.

Nonetheless, Jenkins concludes that privacy has indeed diminished overall, particularly as the first half of the book meticulously charts its decline.

The discussion begins with the revolutionary appeals for personal conscience by Martin Luther and Thomas More in the 16th century, tracing through various religious and personal freedoms of the 17th century. Intimate with Strangers thoroughly examines these developments over the centuries.

Specifically regarding the 18th century, Jenkins argues that it marked the “arrival of the public and private domains.” In fact, she posits that this evolution may overshadow all other Enlightenment developments. This is a historical account that offers novel insights into our shared past.

It ultimately brings us back to our increasingly surveilled reality. “Had there been a clear demarcation between public and private realms at the inception of the World Wide Web, our online landscape would be vastly different today,” Jenkins asserts. Since the 18th century, we’ve allowed for a blurring of lines where privacy increasingly encroaches upon public life.

And what do we stand to lose? Quite a lot—though not everything is gone. “Originality begins in private,” Jenkins reflects in the epilogue. From this, we can infer that Intimate with Strangers began with precious privacy.

Peter Hoskin is the book and culture editor for Prospect Magazine

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