The saying goes, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” But that’s not true. Criticism and rejection It produces brain activity that is indistinguishable from actual pain. Essentially, insults cause pain.
Insult is a complex concept. Has been studied for a long timeIt turns out that the impact of an insult depends not only on who gives it but also on who receives it.
Thus, when it comes to simple insults (insults that have no social or historical significance), the “target” has a great deal of control over the outcome.
And there are plenty of scientifically-recognized ways to successfully defuse an insult or reverse its effects.
One is to attribute category membership to the insulter, making him or her appear as a lower-status, more vulnerable to ridicule.
Someone says, “Your hair is weird,” and you respond, “OK, grandma, calm down,” and you put them in the “old, unfashionable, out of date” category, making them look even worse, especially if they’re a guy in his 20s and there’s no way they could be your grandma.
Some people recommend finding something the insulter says about themselves and highlighting it.
They say, “I don’t know why. [your attractive partner] If they ask you, “Shall I explain it to you? In crayons?”, they mean to insult you, but their response comes across as an admission that they are easily confused.
And then there is co-constructed critique, which takes the insult and builds on it, which de-fans the insult.
“You’re fat!” they say. You say, “I hope so, I’ve spent enough money to get here.”
There are countless other counter-attacks, but they all revolve around a central theme of not empowering the insulter, not elevating the insulter’s status, and maintaining control of the narrative and the interaction.
This article is a response to a question emailed to me by Archie Fox: “What’s the best way to respond to an insult?”
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Source: www.sciencefocus.com
