jESUS strolls through the lush green field holding a selfie stick. The initial notes from Billie Eilish’s ethereal tune rise like a prayer. “It’s all good, Besties, this is my choice. Totally a genuine Save Humanity Arc,” he smiles. “Adore it for me,” Jesus playfully tucks Jonathan Van Ness’s hair behind his ears.
We transition to a new scene. He still wields a selfie stick, but now he’s wandering through a gritty town. “So, I told the team I had to die. Peter literally tried to gaslight me. It’s not dramatic, like Baby. This is a prophecy.”
Cut to Jesus at a candlelit feast. “It’s more of a conversation, so here I am in the middle of dinner. Judas couldn’t even hold my gaze,” he shakes his head, then turns to the camera, grinning at his insight. “Such a phony!”
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Initially, videos of this genre—a retelling of biblical tales through the lens of Americanized video blog culture—may seem bizarre and sacrilegious. However, might they represent a unique synthesis of the Holy Trinity of 2025: AI, influencer culture, and rising conservatism? Are these videos indicative of our era? Do they reflect the concerns of American conservatism? Am I being subtly influenced towards Christianity? Why do these Biblical inspirations feel oddly alluring? Why can’t I look away? What’s happening to my brain?!
My first encounter with these biblical video blogs was while I lounged in bed. When the algorithm unveiled Joseph of Nazareth, I momentarily halted my endless scrolling. “Whoa, look at that fit! Ancient rock vibes.” I wiped the drool from my chin and took a moment. Although mindlessly scrolling may not usually be a cure for mental fatigue, that day, I felt like Daniel in the lion’s den or Jonah in the whale. My commitment to scrolling brought me a sense of salvation.
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In my younger days, I flirted with religion. When my grandparents visited, I would kneel in prayer, attend Bible studies, and socialize with youth groups to meet friends and boys. I had a brief infatuation with Hillsong (I was 13 and just wanted to plan for a Friday night). a) The girl before me screamed, “I’ve been captured by the devil.” And b) I sneaked behind the church curtains to find the teenagers locked in each other’s glances.
My attitudes towards both faithfulness and spirituality have transformed. Now, my spiritual routine consists of exclamations like, “Jesus take the wheel!” or “What a deity!” as I snap photos of church art while traversing Catholic nations, sharing through Instagram later on.
Yet, every night, I find myself scrolling past clothing and dining suggestions while immersing myself in the cultures that birthed them. Vibrator check from last night’s gathering. Then I slide into a video blog Unboxing Trojan horses. Or perhaps a Vox Pop from Easter Monday. Followed by a series of street reactions David defeats Goliath. Something totally fascinating.
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