Nancy Bostock, a pediatrician at Cambridgeshire and Peterborough NHS Foundation Trust, is deeply concerned about the conflicting messages regarding food that children and parents receive. With her expertise in children’s weight management and mental health, she has co-led the creation of innovative food strategies. For more information, visit Cambridge Children’s Hospital.

“I worry that parents may feel overwhelmed by advice from various sources, leading them to adopt practices that might not serve their children’s best interests,” Bostock explains. In her interview with New Scientist, she shares six straightforward, science-based strategies to help children cultivate a healthy relationship with food.

1. Emphasize the Social and Emotional Dimensions of Eating

Eating, parenting, and anxiety are intertwined. This can manifest early in life. Some families experience food insecurity shortly after the birth of a child, pressuring parents to breastfeed. While breastfeeding is undoubtedly beneficial, it is also crucial for the mother’s mental health. Common early-life challenges such as hypoglycemia and jaundice can induce parental guilt over inadequate nourishment.

This stress often leads parents to excessively monitor their children’s eating habits, overshadowing the fundamental relationship between children and food. Remember, most children will eat when hungry and drink when thirsty.

Many parents fret about whether their children drink enough water. However, as long as your child is thriving, there’s no need to constantly check their hydration levels. Trust your child’s instincts.

Additionally, consider the social dynamics of family meals. Reflect on mealtime experiences: do you all eat together? Are meals enjoyable and relaxed? Foster a positive and communal atmosphere surrounding food.

2. Avoid Saying, “I Can’t Eat the Dessert Until I Finish My Dinner.”

Allowing children to regulate their own appetite fosters healthier eating habits as they grow. Minimize parental interference: promote that food is a source of nourishment and energy, and let your child understand their bodily needs.

Statements like “you can’t have dessert until finishing dinner” can lead to unhealthy binge eating. If dessert is always sweet and rich, children might favor less nutritious foods over time, sending a negative message about enjoying food. Instead, serve dinner followed by fruit if desired.

3. Refrain from Imposing Unnecessary Dietary Restrictions

Amidst abundant dietary advice, parents often seek guidance from nutritionists or behavioral specialists to manage children’s eating habits. However, many recommendations to restrict particular foods lack medical foundation. For instance, enforcing a gluten-free diet without celiac disease could have negative effects, including fiber loss and nutrient deficiencies.

Moreover, outright banning certain foods can create a perception of them being “unsafe.” Research suggests that a healthier approach is to prioritize the intake of nutrient-rich foods—fiber, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains—over eliminating food groups.

4. Prevent Children from Using Food for Manipulation

Parents often worry about their children’s eating habits or how their behavior might change if they don’t eat enough. Kids quickly pick up on their parents’ concerns and may manipulate situations with food. Phrases like “If I don’t have ice cream right now, I’ll be sad” can escalate the situation and, if parents give in, this only reinforces bad behavior. Instead, communicate that eating is for energy and health, not a bargaining tool. Offer choices without pressure, like fruit or yogurt if they don’t want the main meal.

5. Recognize That Likes and Dislikes Are Normal

It’s normal for children to become picky eaters as they develop. Research shows that a significant percentage of preschoolers exhibit selective eating behaviors. This phase helps children differentiate safe from unsafe foods. Rather than imposing restrictions, present new foods without pressure; studies suggest children typically need about 15 positive exposures to a new food before accepting it.

While it’s essential to avoid foods known to cause allergies, continued exposure to a range of foods is crucial for health, environmental sustainability, and diverse life experiences. Offer variety and understand that tolerance can precede acceptance.

6. Reflect on Your Own Eating Behaviors

Children mirror their parents’ attitudes and beliefs about food. It’s vital to model healthy perspectives. If you express negativity about your body or weight, children may internalize similar thoughts. Evidence shows kids often adopt their parents’ biases. Hence, the best way to nurture a positive relationship with food and body image in your child is to cultivate one in yourself.

As narrated by Helen Thomson

If your child’s diet is excessively restricted, or if they are not growing or gaining weight appropriately, please consult a healthcare professional.