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Last month, right-wing commentator Charlie Kirk was killed, and videos of his shooting quickly circulated on social media. Nowadays, anyone with a smartphone can access distressing videos, images, and a significant amount of misinformation. While experts have raised concerns about the potential negative effects of smartphones on children’s and teenagers’ mental health, many young individuals still have unrestricted access to their devices.

The Guardian consulted seven experts on how to effectively discuss troubling news with children, including the appropriate age to start these conversations and what should be avoided.

Expert Panel:

• Anya Kamenetz, Journalist and Publisher Golden Hour Newsletter

• Psychiatrist and Executive Director, Clay Center for Young Health Mind, Massachusetts General Hospital

• Tara Conley, Assistant Professor of Media and Journalism at Kent State University.

• Dr. Tricordino, Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Ohio

• Jill Murphy, Chief Content Officer, Common Sense Media

• Ashley Rogers Burner, Professor at Johns Hopkins University

• Holly Korbey, Author of Building Better Citizens

What is the best way to discuss bad news with children? Or issues related to climate disasters?

Anya Kamenetz: First, ascertain what they already know or have heard. Children often get snippets from school and social media, so it’s essential to gauge their understanding. Providing a few clear facts can clarify misconceptions. Watch content together online and demonstrate balanced information consumption. Once you’ve covered the basics, ask if they have any questions and inquire about their feelings on the matter.

Eugene Belesin: Children of all ages typically have three primary concerns: Am I safe? Are you taking care of me? How does this impact my life? Therefore, I want to ensure I listen to their worries, validate their feelings, and encourage them to express those concerns.

Tara Conley: Establishing practical channels for communication is essential when discussing upsetting news with children. Consider creating a family group chat or dedicated online and offline spaces where young people feel connected and supported.

What is the best approach to talk to children about graphic content, like the videos involving Charlie Kirk?

Tricordino: I know numerous teenagers, and I’ve been truly surprised by their reactions. Particularly among younger children, there may be a sense of confusion, feeling that “I shouldn’t have watched that, so I can’t even discuss it with my parents.” It’s critical that they feel comfortable discussing these experiences with trusted adults. It’s important to convey that continuously seeking out such videos can have lasting effects.

Ashley Rogers Burner: When children learn about acts of violence, it’s crucial to be honest with them. Parents should reinforce democratic values, emphasizing peaceful conflict resolution without resorting to violence. Additionally, reassure them that responsible authorities deal with violent acts, and such events are relatively rare.

How can parents help children navigate misinformation?

Holly Korbey: Parents must understand that when their children are on their phones, they are exposed to relentless streams of distressing news. Moreover, the mixed messages from political figures, telling them “Don’t trust the news,” can create confusion.

Parents need to encourage fact-checking. If children encounter something particularly frightening, guide them towards reliable journalistic sources to verify its accuracy.

Cordino: Children are drawn to phones since it’s a key communication tool with their peers and a means of understanding their world. Rather than simply sidelining the device, we should focus on establishing positive technology habits early on. It’s important to frame guidelines around device usage and allow appropriate access.

While a one-size-fits-all strategy won’t work, generally, limiting access initially for younger users is advisable (fewer social media apps, stricter time limits). For all children, it’s beneficial to avoid having devices in bedrooms overnight or allowing unsupervised use behind closed doors. I highly recommend Common Sense Media for families seeking resources on this issue.

Conley: Instilling critical media literacy skills early will help children comprehend how media and technology shape social behavior and interactions. Here are some resources for parents/caregivers: Tips for Adults to Support Children Consuming Scary News. The American Academy of Pediatrics also offers insights on Creating a Family Media Plan.

With the current political landscape being highly polarized and violent, how should such discussions be approached?

Korbey: I believe no topic should be off-limits. Students need exposure to controversial subjects to become politically active. Engaging in discussions at the dinner table is perfectly acceptable.

Jill Murphy: Children and teenagers are bound to have numerous questions, which can serve as a springboard for deeper discussions regarding political or cultural matters. Parents should reaffirm their values and perspectives, while actively listening to their children’s curiosities and concerns.

What pitfalls should parents and caregivers avoid when discussing news with children?

Kamenetz: Avoid having TV news playing in the background. Although I understand the tendency because of my background in journalism, depending on how a story unfolds, it might be wise to minimize that exposure as well. Depending on the child’s age, there’s often no need to volunteer excessive information unless it’s explicitly asked for. Children process information at different paces, and their developmental needs can vary significantly.

Conley: It may also be prudent not to pretend to have all the answers. Children can sense when we do, and it’s essential to be humble about what we don’t know.

How do you reassure children when faced with significant risks to safety, such as climate change, school shootings, or police violence?

Conley: I recall my college years, when numerous global incidents unfolded, from September 11 to Hurricane Katrina. My father occasionally wrote me letters offering guidance or encouragement. I cherish those letters as reminders of our shared humanity.

Thus, I encourage parents and educators to consider practical activities like Letter Writing Activities. Simply writing to the young people in your life can be tremendously impactful.

Cordino: During instances like school shootings, we shouldn’t exacerbate children’s distress. Instead, we aim to ensure they take school safety drills seriously and follow the guidance provided by their educational institutions.

As a parent, how do you provide reassurance to your child while navigating your own concerns about the news?

Kamenetz: It’s crucial for parents to establish a supportive network; you must tend to your own well-being first, which includes voicing your concerns. Model healthy news consumption habits by avoiding distressing content before bedtime and fostering family routines that serve as news-free zones.

Conley: I encourage both young people and adults to seek out helpers—echoing the wisdom of Fred Rogers. Be a helper. Recent research shows that providing support, such as through volunteering, can help us manage certain stressors more effectively. Helping others often improves our own well-being.

When is the right age to initiate these important conversations?

Murphy: Given the rapid exposure of children and teens to news, often through influencers, it’s best for parents to communicate age-appropriate information and begin conversations early.

Kamenetz: Often, we don’t have a choice in these matters. I never intended to explain to my three-year-old that she was in lockdown due to a global pandemic, but reality prevailed, and today she’s a happy and healthy eight-year-old.