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There is a tingling sensation

We don’t want to overstate this in Feedback, but we believe we’ve uncovered a revelation that could transform vast areas of music and literature and compel us to reconsider one of our most cherished metaphors.

It all began when I wrote about an educator utilizing a Taylor Swift music video to introduce students to botany (September 27). Reader Gerald Legg reached out to highlight some errors. First, one of the topics mentioned was “Lightning Races,” which should obviously have been “lighting.” In our defense, the original academic paper we consulted also contained that mistake.

However, it was Gerald’s second point that sent the feedback into a spiral. As a side joke, I once remarked, “Botany is a rose garden full of thorns” (if you don’t get the reference, you’d assume there’s a blank space where Taylor Swift’s refrain fits).

Gerald responded, “I’m sorry, but botany isn’t merely a rose garden filled with thorns, unless you’re referring to shrubs like blackthorn. Roses don’t have true thorns; what they exhibit are superficial epidermal growths, while thorns are modified stems.”

Feedback was sent to selected search engines and consulted expert sources, including the New York Botanical Garden website. We ultimately conceded that roses do indeed lack thorns. Those sharp protrusions are thorny.

The issue lies in the fact that this distinction doesn’t only invalidate Feedback’s quips or Swift’s lyrics. For starters, William Shakespeare must be reinterpreted in two instances: in Sonnet 54, he cautions readers, “Canker flowers are full of dark dyes / Like rose-scented tinctures / Hold on to those thorns,” which is entirely inaccurate. Furthermore, in Sonnet 35, he states, “You needn’t grieve anymore for what you’ve done / There are thorns in roses and mud in silver fountains.”

Similarly, Henry Van Dyke should have titled his poem “Thorns and Roses,” as he asserts, “Far richer than a rose without thorns / Its branches of beauty never shine.”

Feedback is leading me to question whether literal representations of plants can effectively function in poetry or song. Nevertheless, there are silver linings. The works of Johann von Goethe will remain intact because he merely states that “a small rose stung in defense of itself,” without specifying the appendage involved.

And happily, a poignant power ballad, “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” by Hair Metal Purveyor Poison, can be safely discarded. Every cloud contains a glimmer of hope.

Sperm tracking

Earlier this year, Feedback dedicated several columns to the Scunthorpe issue. Innocuous words and phrases often include character strings that can appear offensive when viewed out of context, complicating the development of automated tools to manage online conversations (April 26).

We thought the topic had been exhausted, but educator and researcher Bernd Wursig informed us otherwise. In the early 2000s, Wursig led a team studying sperm whales in the Gulf of Mexico, and attentive readers may guess where this leads.

One of the researchers submitted daily reports via satellite phone, but only about half were received. Eventually, they discovered that many of these reports contained the word “sperm,” causing the university’s servers to delete them.

They circumvented this issue by crafting reports that read, “We photographed and tracked whale matriarchal societies.”

Just one letter

We continue to seek out the most inspiring or amusing scientific abbreviations.

Christina Cheers kicks things off by focusing on the Australian Center for Disease Control. She describes it as a biosafety laboratory that studies “highly contagious animal diseases.”

Over its 40-year history, the center has undergone several name changes. The current title was adopted in April 2020. Previously, it was known as the Australian Institute of Animal Health. However, Christina revealed that it had another name at its inception.

In its early development stages, it was called the Australian National Institute of Animal Health, until a few scientists raised concerns about how it was referred to by its acronym. Consequently, “National” was dropped.

Curiously, Feedback couldn’t find any mention of this little acronym mishap on the center’s website. However, after some digging, I found an article in the Australian Veterinary Journal, published since 1974, discussing the proposed laboratory and its benefits. The piece repeatedly refers to it as the Australian National Institute of Animal Health, even employing the unfortunate acronym.

For truly complex acronyms, consider Niall Leighton’s suggestion. This is a European research project that investigates “how online narratives containing conspiracy theories and misinformation spread and evolve, with a focus on individuals aged 45 to 65.” (You might not catch this in New Scientist.)

The project is titled “The Story of Social Media: Tackling Extremism in Midlife.” This should shorten to SMNAEM(A) but is inexplicably condensed to SMIDGE. Niall explains it works like this (“But I guess”): Social Media Narrative: Countering Extremism in mIDdle-aGE.

If anyone can top that, they are truly clever and humble.

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