In the vibrant hotel lobby, I walk past a couple sharing an intimate kiss as I head towards a softly lit conference room buzzing with the excitement of new connections. I am here to participate in “Love: Practical and Theoretical,” a groundbreaking conference sponsored by the Royal Society in Edinburgh, UK. As a romantic at heart, I hope this event sheds light on one of life’s greatest mysteries: what is love?

Over the next two days, I absorbed insights from numerous experts, including evolutionary biologists, neuroscientists, and psychologists, all sharing their perspectives on this instinctive yet elusive concept we call love, with a particular focus on romantic relationships.

This event was a historic meeting, providing many key researchers in love studies their first opportunity to convene. “This is a significant challenge for love science. It brings tears to my eyes,” remarked Adam Bode, a professor from the University of Melbourne, during a poignant moment at the conference.

Romance research has often struggled for funding, perceived as a “soft” science, according to Bode. “Initially, I felt that the science of love was not taken seriously,” he expressed. “The very fact that the world’s oldest and most prestigious scientific institution now supports discussions on love lends it a legitimacy that has been lacking.”

Defining love is a challenging yet essential first step in studying it. “As scholars, we have not yet agreed on a clear definition of love,” stated Marta Kowal from the University of Wrocław, Poland.

Some view love merely as an emotion, similar to joy or sadness—subjective experiences that vary widely among individuals. “My fascination with love sparked when I found myself deeply in love with someone I didn’t intend to,” Bode remarked.

However, the consensus among many researchers is that romantic love encompasses more than mere feelings. Some suggest it serves as a motivational state, driving us to maintain close relationships and ensuring the continuation of our species.

This assertion is supported by brain imaging studies showing that love activates reward pathways deep within the brainstem, influencing our fundamental urges. “Like hunger and thirst, love is integral to our survival,” explained Lucy Brown from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York.

Other scientists prefer to analyze love through established psychological frameworks. Robert Sternberg at Cornell University proposes that love is built on three fundamental elements: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy involves an emotional connection, passion encompasses physical attraction, and commitment signifies the intention to sustain a relationship.

Sternberg shared that his theory stemmed from personal experiences. “I developed a strong bond with Mary and a deep passion for Julia. Yet there was Eren, who had a scheduled meeting with me,” he elaborated.

A point of agreement among researchers is that romantic love evolves through distinct stages. Initially, the honeymoon stage is marked by intense desire and typically lasts one to two years, followed by a more pragmatic, lasting love. “This next phase is ‘more practical than poetic,’ and it represents a continuum rather than a clear cut transition,” Kowal noted.

The attachment experienced in passionate love can form part of this definition. According to Bode, individuals in love devote about half their waking hours contemplating their partner. “I suspect anyone newly in love shouldn’t be granted a driver’s license; I’m even considering a research grant to investigate this,” he joked.

In the conference’s final discussion, researchers outlined plans to explore various definitions of love in forthcoming scientific papers. Although we may never fully unravel the mystery of love, the pursuit remains invaluable, as many of us find our lives driven by love itself.