Humans are inherently social beings. Our evolution took place within communities, leading to the creation of the complex civilizations we know today. At a fundamental level, we crave the company of others.

So, why might you occasionally wish for some time alone on this planet?

I consider myself a humanist, a pluralist, and generally a pleasant individual. However, there are moments—though I seldom admit it—when I yearn for the mass of humanity to fade away, at least for a while.

After all, with a global population of 8 billion, I can’t be the only one. The urge to find solitude can be just as powerful as our innate need for companionship.

Research highlights this desire: Loneliness. It reflects the negative feelings and emotional states that arise when you don’t carve out some personal time for yourself.

Introverts like myself are particularly attuned to this, though we are not alone in our feelings.

Advantages of Spending Time Alone

Parents grappling with long school holidays can find this challenge overwhelming. Those who live in bustling shared spaces or work in hectic environments, like schools and hospitals, share similar sentiments.

Interestingly, the concept of solitude fascinates many. Dr. Thuy-vy Nguyen, a Professor of Psychology at Durham University, emphasizes its importance through her research. She asserts that spending time alone facilitates recovery from stress.

“Our research consistently shows that being alone is beneficial for emotional regulation,” she explains.

“Initially, we induce stress in participants during experiments. Following this, we allow them to spend time alone in a room, where they experience noticeable calm in just 15-30 minutes.”

Remarkably, this emotional calming effect diminished when participants were with others, possibly because solitude offers essential opportunities for rest and renewal.

Feelings of anger, anxiety, and excessive excitement are often accompanied by cognitive burdens, which appear to dissipate when we allow ourselves to be alone.

Nguyen has even observed physical changes. “We track cortisol levels, which indicate stress, and see it decrease with solitude,” she notes.

This gentle feeling of relief is just one of the benefits. Research during the Covid-19 lockdown showed that solitary time could boost creativity. Other studies indicate that time spent alone can enhance self-compassion and resilience.

The Difference Between Loneliness and Solitude

It might sound odd to some, especially those who view solitude as detrimental. It’s often linked to poor mental health, increased cardiovascular risks, and a higher likelihood of early mortality.

However, it’s crucial to differentiate between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness can feel imposed, but solitude is something one can embrace and nurture.

Nguyen suggests introducing structure into your alone time, stating, “Empty time can be daunting for many. Give yourself a task.”

In one experiment, she found that participants who sorted hundreds of pencils preferred this engaging activity over simply sitting idle. Another study revealed that some individuals would choose to self-administer mild electric shocks rather than endure the discomfort of doing nothing.

In her free time, Nguyen enjoys crafting miniature models, a healthier alternative to mindless screen time. Other fulfilling options could include reading, gardening, tackling jigsaw puzzles, or sketching.

“Opt for a hands-on activity,” she advises, but avoid jumping straight to your phone.

Nguyen is currently exploring how distracting devices might disrupt the cognitive processes that solitude can stimulate.

“When we are alone, we gain the chance to reflect on our days,” she remarks. “However, smartphones often divert our attention and push us into multitasking instead.”

Another tip is to get outside when possible, especially if you feel overwhelmed.

“If you’re constantly surrounded by stress, you might struggle to leave that environment when alone,” Nguyen explains. “That’s why many parents feel the need to step outside their homes. There’s a marked difference between just being alone and dedicating time to oneself.”

When lonely parents express a need for space during busy holiday seasons, they’re speaking a universal truth.

read more: