Who Tops the List for the Funniest Dad Jokes? You Might Be Surprised!

Feedback is a popular segment in New Scientist that keeps an eye on the latest science and technology news. If you have items you think might interest our readers, please email us at feedback@newscientist.com.

It’s no laughing matter

Feedback celebrated a birthday in the past year. Feedback Junior gifted me a card that read, “My ambition in life is to be as interesting as you think I am.”

Despite this, we continue to share dad jokes because the kids’ reactions are priceless. Hence, we were intrigued to discover that two psychologists, Paul Sylvia and Meriel Barnett, have a scholarly interest in dad jokes. They authored an entire paper on the subject.

The title is “What’s Brown and Sticky? A Peek into the Inescapable Comedic Mystery of Dad Humor, Using a Few Machine Learning Models, Hundreds of Humans, and Tens of Thousands of Dad Jokes.” The summary begins, “Of course, it’s a stick,” in case you weren’t ready for it.

The authors compiled over 32,000 jokes from Reddit’s r/dadjoke community. This dataset is available alongside the paper, so Feedback naturally downloaded it all. It features gems like, “How do you know a ship’s age? Let’s look at the berth certificate.”

However, this isn’t merely an opportunity for puns—it’s serious research. The psychologists gathered data on joke popularity and showed some to volunteers, allowing us to ponder an essential question: “Who finds these outlandish jokes funny?” Panel members answered questions about their personalities, political views, and more. They discovered that people labeled as “culturally traditional”—defined as “more educated” or “more religious”—tended to appreciate these jokes.

A critical factor identified as “the most intellectually profound question in the survey” was whether individuals considered themselves cat people or dog people. Both groups found the jokes funnier if they liked both types of pets compared to those who didn’t like either. The researchers speculate: “I wonder what people who don’t like kittens and puppies find funny.”

Ultimately, they found that gender and parenthood influenced how people perceived these jokes. They concluded, “In these difficult and uncertain times, where distrust of expertise and reason is widespread, perhaps it’s reassuring to know that science has found that dads find dad jokes funnier.”

Unite by urinating

While Feedback was a bit late, we missed the June release of Joan Bichard and Gail Lamster’s book Comprehensive Public Restroom Design. Thankfully, reader Brian Refine-Smith brought it to our attention.

The premise of this book is straightforward. Public restrooms need to serve everyone, yet often they do not. “This book provides an important overview of the design of public toilets in the UK and emphasizes the urgent need to reassess the accessibility of these essential spaces and the surrounding culture,” states the publisher’s website.

Your feedback will be taken into account. One of our relatives has autism; the shrill sound of a hand dryer can trigger sensory overload for them, along with the harsh fluorescent lights common in public restrooms. However, the hardback edition retails for £70, which seems rather excessive.

Nonetheless, I want to follow Brian’s lead and highlight the book’s subtitle. You might anticipate something dull and verbose like “How to Design Public Conveniences to Be Accessible to Everyone, Regardless of Gender, Ethnicity, Disability, or Neurodiversity.” In reality, it’s titled “Wee the People.”

The end is near

When you make a bold claim and face criticism, there are several ways to respond. Perhaps your critic raises valid points, prompting you to add caveats or soften your statement. Alternatively, you might feel misunderstood and clarify your position.

However, that’s not what happened. Last month (October 18th), Feedback relayed the sobering news that humanity is on a course for extinction by 2339. This prediction stems from a paper by demographers David Swanson and Jeff Teiman, who confidently extrapolated over 300 years into the future based on declining birth rates from 2019 to 2024. Feedback noted that this might be somewhat unfounded.

To my surprise, Swanson reached out to me. “Thank you for recognizing the seriousness of our article on the extinction of humanity,” he wrote, erasing our suspicions that the whole thing was a prank.

Mr. Swanson also sent me version 2 of his paper, which features significant updates, presumably incorporating 2025 data. As a result, human extinction has been delayed by nearly a century. Instead of 2339, we’re now looking at 2415 for humanity’s disappearance. That was a relief.

However, the more crucial changes are encapsulated in the paper’s new title, Probabilistic Prediction of Human Extinction Based on Region. The researchers have now broken down their predictions by continent. “Asia will be the first region to face extinction (in 2280), followed by Europe in 2295, the Americas in 2300, Africa in 2360, and lastly Oceania in 2415,” they state. So, buy beachfront property on Easter Island, folks.

When considering Feedback, I can’t help but envision a third version of the paper—one that predicts the exact island in Polynesia where the last humans will gather.

Have a story for feedback?

You can send your articles to Feedback at feedback@newscientist.com. Please include your home address. This week’s and past Feedback can be found on our website.

Source: www.newscientist.com

The Top 87 Dad Jokes Ever Told

Dad jokes are humorous puns and phrases that fathers worldwide just can’t resist sharing whenever they have the opportunity. These jokes are eye-rollingly corny, family-friendly, and designed to make kids laugh (and everyone else groan).

If you ask your family, they may claim that dad jokes are inherently terrible and not worth repeating. But if you’ve just searched for “best dad jokes,” we both know that secretly you think these jokes are actually pretty great, despite how bad they are. I see you.

So whether you want to entertain your children, irritate your least favorite relative, or put together the world’s worst stand-up routine, we’ve got the perfect one-liners for you. Impress (or annoy) your loved ones by eliciting eye rolls with the funniest and best dad jokes now.

101 of the best dad jokes

  • When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent
  • What is the cloud wearing? Thunder wear.
  • Can February turn into March? No, but April and May.
  • Why not buy one with Velcro? It’s a total rip-off
  • What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam
  • Have you heard about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed some space.
  • Have you heard about the actor who broke his leg on stage? He’s still on the cast
  • Have you ever heard that oxygen dated potassium? It was a match
  • What did the police officer say to Navel? You’re under the vest
  • What is the witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
  • Why did the zombie take a nap? He was dead tired.
  • Have you ever heard of two rowboats getting into an argument? It was an all-deal
  • What is the easiest building to lift? Lighthouse
  • I was a baker but couldn’t make enough dough
  • Why did the scarecrow win the award? Because he was outstanding in his field
  • What did biologists wear to impress on dates? Designer genes
  • Did you hear about our camping trip? It was in-tents
  • Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything
  • What did the evil chicken give birth to? Deviled egg
  • How do you make holy water? Boil it thoroughly
  • What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh
  • How does a person on the moon cut his hair?
  • Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere
  • Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine
  • What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad
  • Which day is the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. Other days are just weak days
  • You can make jokes about pizza, but they’re pretty cheesy
  • What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Wool jumper
  • Every morning I declare to my family that I’m going for a jog, but I never actually go… Just kidding.
  • Why do astronauts use Linux? Because they can’t open windows in space.
  • I’m currently reading Bill Jerome Holmes’ book on DIY home construction.
  • Why do people always bring a spare pair of socks when playing golf? They don’t want a hole-in-one
  • Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana
  • What is the most relaxing element? Bromine
  • Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They have no guts
  • I’m reading a book about sandpaper… It’s a gripping read
  • Why were scientists disappointed with the results of the new weapons experiments? They bombed
  • Have you ever heard of the man who was scared of hurdles? He got over it
  • What did you say when the earthquake ended? Sorry, it’s my fault!
  • What would Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? HDMI
  • What is an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? Spacebar
  • What is brown and sticky? A stick
  • What did the police officer say to Navel? You’re under the vest
  • What did you say when the grapes were crushed? Nothing, just a little whine
  • Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted
  • Peanut was sitting on the railroad tracks and his heart was pounding. 5:15 passed in a blink, Too Too! peanut butter
  • I don’t trust those trees. They seem a bit shady
  • I always thought orthopedic shoes were overrated, but I think they’ve corrected that.
  • There’s a joke about a broken clock, but it’s not the right time
  • There’s a joke about chemistry, but it doesn’t seem to get a reaction.
  • What happened when the world champion of tongue twisters was arrested? They gave him a harsh sentence
  • To the person who invented zero – thank you for everything
  • Geology may be rocky, but geography matters
  • Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land never waves back
  • How do you throw a party in space? You planet
  • Why can’t leopards hide? They’re always spotted
  • Why couldn’t the beaver go home? It couldn’t find the dam door.
  • What’s your secret to always keeping it real? Gravity
  • What do you call the goldfish that came in third place? A bronze fish
  • You can’t trust stairs…They’re always up to something.
  • What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty
  • How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Poke him on
  • Why does everyone wear tank tops in America? They have the right to bare arms
  • What kind of jewelry do you wear when you don’t have a neck? Headless
  • Have you heard about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but De Brie?
  • I just got kicked out of my local park for arranging squirrels by height… The squirrels didn’t like the size of my nuts.
  • What do you call a dinosaur who knows a lot of words? Thesaurus
  • The doctor told me I would lose my hearing…It was a difficult pill to swallow.
  • I had to return the vacuum cleaner… It sucked.
  • I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
  • What do spies do when it’s cold? They go undercover
  • What do you call someone allergic to lactose? Lactose intolerant
  • What do you call a fish wearing a tie? Sophishicated
  • Doctor, there’s an invisible man in the waiting room. Tell him I can’t see him
  • What is an astronaut’s favorite chocolate? Mars Bar
  • Why did mushrooms become popular? They’re a fungi
  • Why do trees have so many friends? They like to branch out
  • Where does bad light end up? In the prism
  • I’d tell you another chemistry joke but all the good ones Argon
  • I sued the airport for losing my luggage…I lost my case.
  • Why did the chemistry teacher go to the sea? To test the waters.
  • Why are meteors so beautiful? They always make a splash
  • Why aren’t guilty pandas caught? They eat, shoot, and leaf
  • Why are teddy bears never hungry? They’re always stuffed
  • Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up
  • Why don’t crabs donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish
  • When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent
  • Mountains aren’t just funny, they’re hill areas
  • What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
  • Why can’t bicycles stand up on their own? They’re two tired
  • I used to play the piano by ear, now I use my hands and fingers.
  • I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y
  • What do you call fake spaghetti? Impasta.
  • Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
  • What is a physicist’s favorite snack? Fission chips
  • My dog doesn’t have a nose. How does he smell? Terrible
  • How do mathematicians cultivate their fields? With a protractor.
  • I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me
  • I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve already lost three days.
  • Why did the doctor have a red pen in case he needed to draw blood?

If that wasn’t enough dad jokes for you, then check out our list of amazing fun facts that will keep you smiling from ear to ear.

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Source: www.sciencefocus.com

50 Hilarious Science Jokes to Brighten Your Day in 2024

Whether you’re a child, student, teacher, or just a proud nerd, we all love a good science joke. Even the most cheesy and silly puns. That’s why we’ve curated a collection of the cheesiest (and most groan-worthy) short one-liners for kids and adults in 2024.

We brainstormed and selected 50 of our top picks. By the time you reach the end of this list, you’ll have had enough sulfur…

50 Best Science Jokes of 2024

  1. What do you call subpar hydrocarbons? Crude oil
  2. Never talk to Pi. They’ll go on forever
  3. Why were chemists let go? Because they didn’t handle pressure well.
  4. Oxygen and potassium went on a date. It was a good match
  5. A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much is a beer?” Bartender: “It’s free.”
  6. Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have ant bodies
  7. Ever heard of physicists chilling to absolute zero? They’re now at 0k
  8. The earth’s rotation really makes my day
  9. Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything
  10. Have you been to the Mercury restaurant? Great lighting but zero atmosphere
  11. The chemical thief couldn’t be caught. They were planning to do Lin.
  12. How often should you share chemistry jokes? Periodically
  13. Albert Einstein had a theory about the universe. And the time is now
  14. I think it lost an electron. Actually, I’m positive too.
  15. Why did biologists break up with physicists? They lacked chemistry
  16. A plant asks another plant, “Are you hungry?” They respond, “I’m up for a light meal.”
  17. Chemists are happy in the lab because they’re in their element
  18. We were studying frequency in physics class, but now we know the brain’s hertz is
  19. Why did scientists remove the doorbell? To win the Nobel Prize
  20. What is Iron’s favorite vehicle? Iron Wheel
  21. Why did the bacteria pass through the microscope? To move to another slide
  22. I was reading a book about helium and couldn’t put it down.
  23. There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary and those who don’t.
  24. Photon went on vacation, but he didn’t have any luggage. He was a light traveler
  25. What do you call it when two diamonds go out to dinner? Carbon dating
  26. Does a radioactive cat have a half-life of 18 years?
  27. The quantum physicist walked into a bar but didn’t leave.
  28. How do you throw a party in space? You planet
  29. Why are chemists great problem solvers? They have a solution
  30. What sound does a subatomic duck make? Quark Quark Quark
  31. Two blood cells met and fell in love. It all made sense
  32. If the king could make wind, would it be a noble gas?
  33. Scientist studying the sun are probably star-struck
  34. No matter how widespread antibiotics become, viruses will never spread.
  35. I’m not lazy – I’m just full of potential energy
  36. Ever heard of a nuclear enthusiast? He was the true proton
  37. Why do tigers have stripes? So they’re not spotted
  38. Why did 2 of 4 skip lunch? They’re already 8
  39. Astronomers wondered all night where the sun went. Then it dawned on them
  40. What did one charged atom say to the other? We got an ion.
  41. Chemistry is like cooking. But never lick the spoon
  42. Why don’t geologists like scary movies? They’re petrified
  43. What’s the hardest book to read? Friction Book
  44. What is a scientist’s favorite dog? Laboratory
  45. What do solids, liquids, and gases have in common? They’re all matter
  46. When I heard Oxygen and magnesium were dating, I was like, oh, magnesium.
  47. What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags its tail, the other tags whales
  48. How do scientists freshen their breath? With experiment mint
  49. Where do astronauts park their spacecraft? In a meteor shower
  50. Why are there so many bad chemistry jokes? Argon, they’re all good

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Source: www.sciencefocus.com