Experiencing bereavement is one of life’s toughest challenges. Offering love and support can truly make a significant impact, and it’s admirable to want to help those who are grieving.
Everyone’s sadness is unique, which complicates knowing what to say. In those raw moments, simply being present and offering your love and time may be the most valuable support you can provide.
Research indicates that empathizing with others can be more challenging than we realize. Avoid making assumptions about their feelings; instead, gently ask what they are experiencing.
If you’re uncertain whether they prefer solitude, give them an option. You might say, “Would you like me to come by later?” rather than simply texting, “Let me know how I can help.”
Since close relationships may benefit from practical support, offering to help with meals or tasks can be greatly appreciated. However, always provide an opt-out option, such as leaving food at the door instead of entering.
Additionally, prioritize emotional support over giving advice or trying to reframe the situation positively. Listen attentively to their feelings and what they need at that moment.
If appropriate, consider employing techniques related to “active listening.” For instance, paraphrasing or echoing their words can show that you genuinely understand their emotional state.
As time passes and if their emotional pain decreases, it might be suitable to transition to what psychologists refer to as “cognitive advice.”
This could involve helping them find constructive ways to express their sadness and discover hope, such as making positive changes to their routines.
We often think we understand someone else’s sadness, but research shows that isn’t always the case. Instead, it’s crucial to be curious, ask how they feel, and really listen – Credit: via Klaus Vedfelt
If the grieving person indicates they prefer solitude, don’t take that as a permanent preference. Make sure to check in regularly in a non-judgmental manner.
Reaching out occasionally can be incredibly meaningful, especially since it can be hard for them to re-engage.
Psychologists recommend expressing sadness as a helpful coping strategy, often best done with the support of others.
For instance, you might plan a memorial activity, reminisce about the loved one they’ve lost, commemorate a significant anniversary, or visit places that hold special memories.
So, when the time feels right, consider joining your friends and loved ones in commemorating and celebrating the lives of those they’ve lost.
Remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Each person’s timeline for healing is unique.
However, if your loved one continues to struggle with their grief more than six months later, they may benefit from seeking professional help.
This article responds to the inquiry (Neil Myers, asked by Lincoln): “How should I talk to someone who just lost a loved one?”
Please email us to submit your questionsQuestion @sciencefocus.com or MessageFacebook,xorInstagramPage (don’t forget to include your name and location).
Check out our ultimateFun fact More amazing science pages
Anxiety is a multifaceted and widespread mental health issue impacting millions globally. It manifests in various ways, with many individuals feeling that anxiety can be overwhelming and disrupt day-to-day activities.
How can you identify if anxiety is problematic? Additionally, what are the underlying causes of anxiety? Here’s everything you need to know.
What is anxiety?
Essentially, anxiety is an emotional state characterized by nervousness, often coupled with negative thoughts and physical symptoms. While it may center around specific upcoming events or challenges, it can also evolve into a more generalized anxiety about the future.
Breaking it down further, anxiety involves thoughts, emotions, and actions. For instance, if you joke about yourself during a meeting, it might lead to feelings of nausea, causing you to skip the meeting altogether. This decision, while it may provide temporary relief, can exacerbate anxiety in the long run, creating a cycle of avoidance.
What causes anxiety?
Anxiety often begins with negative anticipatory thoughts. For example, you might worry that an upcoming exam will be too challenging, leading to failure, or that something might go wrong during a flight. These thoughts can trigger a fear response in your brain, releasing hormones that activate your sympathetic nervous system, particularly adrenaline, preparing your body to either confront or escape a perceived threat.
In genuinely dangerous situations, this response can be life-saving. However, unhealthy anxiety may result in false alarms, prompting your body to react vigorously despite the absence of real danger.
Other factors contributing to anxiety can include past traumatic experiences, certain medications that provoke fearful thoughts, or medical conditions like hyperthyroidism that disrupt hormones related to fear.
read more:
What does it feel like?
Anxiety can manifest physically, leading to discomfort through symptoms like a racing heart, sweaty palms, dizziness, trembling, stomach issues, and nausea.
Individuals with chronic anxiety may find these physical sensations particularly troubling, further intensifying their anxiety. For example, someone anxious about public speaking may feel their hands shake or their stomach flutter, compounding their stress.
Mentally, anxiety often triggers a cascade of fearful thoughts and incessant worries. Coupled with physical symptoms, this situation can lead to a strong desire to flee or avoid anxiety-inducing scenarios, making avoidance appear appealing despite it being counterproductive over time.
Those suffering from anxiety may tend to be devastated. Photo: Joe Waldron
When does anxiety become a problem?
Experiencing anxiety occasionally is entirely normal. In fact, moderate levels of anxiety can be beneficial (as boxing coach Cus d’Amato once noted, anxiety is like fire: it can be destructive, but when controlled, it’s a valuable resource for warmth and cooking).
For instance, moderate anxiety about a job interview can motivate adequate preparation, which is preferable to arriving unprepared. Similarly, a mild anxiety boost during the interview may help you think more clearly.
Anxiety becomes problematic when it spirals out of control (e.g., being so anxious during exams that you can’t focus) or becomes chronic and overwhelming.
A significant warning sign is when anxiety leads to avoidance behavior. For example, avoiding travel due to fear of flying can narrow your life experience and lead to feelings of unhappiness, denying you the chance to learn how to manage worry-inducing situations.
Avoidance may also manifest as reliance on ineffective coping strategies that only mask anxiety in the short term while exacerbating it over time. In contrast, confronting anxiety can be daunting initially but may be the better path toward long-term relief.
Is anxiety a mental disorder?
If a person experiences significant anxiety for many days over a period of more than six months across various situations, they may be diagnosed with “generalized anxiety disorder.”
There are also specific anxiety disorders. For example, someone with intense anxiety tied to social situations may be diagnosed with “social anxiety disorder,” while frequent panic attack concerns may lead to a diagnosis of “panic disorder.”
Specific phobias, such as agoraphobia (fear of situations where escape might be difficult), are recognized as forms of anxiety disorders. Other conditions like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) were formerly categorized as anxiety disorders, but psychiatrists now classify them distinctly, despite their anxiety connections.
In PTSD, traumatized individuals often remain in hyper-alert states, perpetually poised for a fight or flight response. In OCD, individuals may resort to compulsive behaviors as ineffective attempts to mitigate feelings of anxiety.
Are some people more prone to anxiety than others?
Genetics and life experiences jointly shape our personality traits, which can influence susceptibility to anxiety. Particularly, individuals scoring high in neuroticism tend to experience frequent mood swings and negative emotions like shame and guilt, increasing their worry.
Conversely, those who exhibit higher levels of trust and lower stress levels in interpersonal relationships are often less susceptible to anxiety. Additionally, evidence suggests that extroverted individuals have a lower likelihood of developing anxiety, especially in social scenarios.
Kion West can talk about an anecdote about racism that he has experienced on a daily basis, but does not. He says that a personal testimony rarely persuades someone, is often rejected or is cleared for another reason that is not so unpleasant. He prefers to focus on facts instead of emotions caused by racist behavior and racist accusations.
Social psychologists at the Goldsmith School at the University of London have integrated hundreds of strict demonstration research on racist discrimination for decades in new books. Science of racism。 He scientifically accurately accurate what modern racism and the complexity surrounding it by exploring how racism can be detected through experiments and the effects on society as a whole. We are building a whole picture.
It is clear that society to fight racism is still inadequate, but there are many things that can be done. The same study, which proves racism, can help all of you to elucidate psychological exercises that almost everyone is doing to hide racist behavior from themselves. The idea of such personal prejudice can gradually solve many racist behavior.
In this interview, the waist describes a method that is backed by science to discover various outfit racism, showing light on ideas such as reverse ratism and organized racism. He wants to change direction to confront racism from the front, because public debate discusses whether racism exists.
Amalachi Orie: What is racist discrimination?
Kion West: There are two definitions that may be useful. There is something useful for conducting scientific experiments. Racism is everything.
In fact, procrastination (defined as voluntarily and unnecessarily delaying work) is so prevalent that scientists have even found evidence of it in pigeon behavior.
So why do so many people procrastinate? What causes it? And most importantly, how can you stop procrastinating?
Don’t put off answering these questions any longer. In collaboration with Durham University Professor Fuschia Sirois, a researcher who has dedicated 20 years to the subject, presents a beginner’s guide to the psychology of procrastination.
What causes procrastination?
It would be easy, as your mom probably did, to attribute procrastination to poor time management, or worse, to being just plain lazy. However, science does not support this.
“There’s no convincing scientific evidence that procrastination is the result of poor time management, but it’s easy to say it’s all about mood management,” Sirois says.
“The essence of procrastination is an inability to control one’s moods and emotions. Many people think that impulsivity and self-control are the problems, but they are actually contributing factors, but at the root of the problem… There is a lack of emotional response.”
Read more about psychology:
Why are some people perfectionists?
Your motivation is at rock bottom. How neuroscience can help
This article is scientifically proven to improve willpower
Sirois explains that everyone faces stressful situations that require them to perform tasks that trigger brain activity that involves an area of the brain known as the amygdala. And it’s the amygdala that processes emotions and signals threats, which can prompt the “fight or flight” response that leads to procrastination.
“Interestingly, people who say they are chronic procrastinators tend to have more gray matter in their amygdala,” says Sirois.
“This means they become more sensitive to the potential negative consequences of their actions, leading to more negative emotions and procrastination.”
Another factor that is strongly associated with procrastination is time thinking. To put it more simply, it means how close you think your current self is to your future self.
If you’re a normal person, chances are you have trouble thinking in terms of time. It really sucks. In fact, according to a study conducted at the University of California, Los Angeles, you probably Imagine yourself in the future as a completely different person.
Using functional MRI scans, researchers found that different parts of the brain are activated when we process information about our current and future selves. And when we imagine our future selves, the same areas of the brain are activated as when we think about strangers.
“This is important because when you perceive your future self in this way, you’re more likely to do something that could be harmful to that person, leaving them with a bigger job than you would do yourself now.”, Sirois explains.
“While your future self may feel psychologically distant to you now, you may also see them as some kind of superhero.’ You might say, ‘I’ll come up with ideas,” or ‘In the future, I won’t have any obstacles in my way as a writer.'”
“But the truth is, in the short term, we won’t change much.”
If you’re a chronic procrastinator, you’re probably familiar with this fallacy. But fortunately, there is some evidence to suggest that there are simple ways to improve your temporal thinking. It’s about doing it more often.
The researchers concluded that such practices were “effective in increasing altruistic motivation.” [a future self]Mainly by reducing your current procrastination.”
Is procrastination bad for your health?
In short, procrastination can cause far more problems than missing deadlines. Sirois has spent decades studying the effects of chronic procrastination on human health, and the results are alarming at best and downright frightening at worst.
“People who are chronic procrastinators, people who have a habit of procrastinating, have higher levels of stress. more acute health problems. You’re more likely to have headaches, insomnia, and digestive problems. It also makes you more susceptible to influenza and colds.”
As you may have already realized, procrastination big problem. But fortunately, psychologists know this and have been looking for effective ways to address it.
First, there are many ways to quickly solve procrastination. For example, persuasive psychological science The paper describes how larger time metrics (think 48 hours instead of 2 days, or 10,950 days instead of 30 years) can be downsized. Make events look more immediateinvite people to participate in upcoming tasks.
But for Sirois, there are two main ways to reduce the root cause: procrastination. self-pity and cognitivereframing.
“People believe that procrastinators, especially chronic procrastinators, very Be strict with yourself before and after work. And instead of putting in the work, they just sit idle and idle,” she says.
“My advice is to not be too self-aware and take that frustration too far. Step back from that for a second and admit that you’re not happy with yourself. And before you Proceed.
“Basically, it’s about recognizing that everyone makes mistakes. You’re not the first to procrastinate, and you won’t be the last. Welcome to humanity.”
Data increasingly supports this theory. For example, in a survey of 750 people, Sirois found the following companies: The link between procrastination and low levels of self-compassion (They are more likely to judge themselves harshly, believing they are the only ones suffering from the problem).
Read more about psychology:
Nudge Theory: 10 Subtle Pushes to Change Your Mindset
Why you can’t multitask (and why it’s a good thing)
How to build resilience: 3 science-backed tips
But what does this actually mean? First of all, as Sirois claims, mindfulness practice is associated with increased self-compassion and lower levels of procrastination. I’m doing it.
As an example of research published in International Journal of Applied Positive Psychology People were found to have completed just three minutes of mindfulness exercises (including “audio instructions aimed at promoting non-judgmental awareness and attention to current bodily sensations, including breathing”). After that, I was less likely to procrastinate..
“These exercises will help you gain a little perspective and prevent you from going down the bad path of negative emotions that lead to procrastination,” Sirois explains.
Sirois also points to recent, unpublished research conducted by doctoral students. Sisi Yang. In an experiment with students who had a task they were procrastinating on, or who predicted they would procrastinate, they divided the participants into several groups.
One group was encouraged to think about happy thoughts by engaging in a specific activity (think watching a video of kittens). Another group was asked to reframe the upcoming task as meaningful, pondering questions such as:
How is achieving this goal valuable in your own perspective?
What value will achieving this goal have in terms of how others see you?
What value will achieving this goal be to my personal growth?
Interestingly, when observing all participants’ activities over the next few days, the second group procrastinated less.
“It’s about reappraisal. Seeing something as more meaningful. And when you create meaning, you create a connection to the task,” Sirois says.
“Finding meaning in your work, whether it’s in your relationship with yourself or with other people, is really, really powerful. And it starts a process of reappraisal, and it starts a process of reappraisal, of negative emotions. It’s a great way to alleviate some or at least make it more manageable.”
Read more about psychology:
Pop psychology: 8 myths that are probably wrong, or at least very simplistic.
“We are hungry for face-to-face communication. Psychology shows that virtual contact is just as good, if not better.”
There is a lot of talk about the word “habit.” Your doctor may advise you to develop the “good habit” of eating five servings of fruits and vegetables a day. Your friend may be concerned about his “bad habit” of checking Twitter before bed. Perhaps you had a music teacher who made you practice scales until it became a habit.
Or maybe you are telling yourself that you want to get into the habit of going to the gym twice a week.
While these situations may make sense colloquially, psychologists are more specific about what constitutes a habit. Not everything you do regularly or desire to do becomes a habit.
Some of the scenarios mentioned are related to goals, intentions, and skills rather than the habit itself.
Routines like going to the gym regularly can become habits, but it is not guaranteed. So, what exactly is a habit? And what does it take to create a “good” habit or break a “bad” one?
What defines a habit?
In psychology, a behavior becoming a habit means that the action, or a series of related actions, is automatically triggered by certain cues in the environment.
Psychologists suggest that a habit is formed when an action, which may have started intentionally, becomes automatic over time. This is seen in behaviors done without conscious thought or will, even if the behavior is no longer pleasurable or desirable.
For instance, reaching for cigarettes after taking a sip of alcohol, even if you want to quit smoking, illustrates the automatic nature of habits.
As a behavior becomes deeply ingrained as a habit, it is controlled by brain networks associated with involuntary behavior, rather than conscious decision-making. This efficient process saves energy and space in the brain.
Researchers have shown that a specific part of the brain, the infralimbic cortex, appears to control habits and can be “switched off” to disrupt habitual behaviors.
Credit: Kyle Smart
Understanding how habits are formed and controlled sheds light on their impact on behavior, both positively and negatively. Healthy or unhealthy habits can significantly influence your lifestyle and long-term goals.
Therefore, learning to break bad habits and establish healthy ones is crucial for personal development.
How to break bad habits
Understanding the psychology behind habit formation can help you break bad habits and cultivate good ones. Start by identifying the triggers that prompt your unwanted behavior and find ways to avoid or minimize them.
For example, if you want to stop checking social media before bed, remove the trigger by keeping your phone away from the bedroom.
Changing routines and contexts associated with bad habits can also aid in breaking them.
Consider the original purpose or reward of the habit you wish to break, and find alternative ways to fulfill that need or desire.
Replace the unwanted behavior with a more desirable one to make breaking the habit easier.
How to develop new healthy habits
To establish new habits, repeat desired actions in response to specific triggers consistently over time. This pairing process creates automatic behavior.
Make the desired behavior as easy as possible to perform by reducing friction between the trigger and the action.
Reward yourself for engaging in the behavior you want to become a habit to strengthen it during the initial stages.
Consistency, dedication, and commitment are essential for forming new habits and making them automatic.
Self-sabotage (also called “self-handicapping” by psychologists) is intentionally doing something that can harm your chances of success. academic ability testperformance at work, sportsor relationships.
For example, let’s say you intentionally don’t rehearse your work presentation. Or let’s say you have a running race coming up and you decide not to train for it. In a relationship, you might start ignoring your partner’s texts, even if you’re happy with the relationship.
In all these cases, behaving this way may sound strange and self-defeating. However, research suggests that there is a logic to self-destruction. It’s something people often do as a way to protect their self-esteem and reduce their fear of failure or abandonment.
For example, let’s say you deliberately fail to prepare for a presentation at work, and as a result, your presentation goes very poorly. The reason for your failure may be that you didn’t prepare, rather than the presentation saying something fundamental about you as a person or your skills. Similarly, if you come in last in a running race, you can ignore your misfortune and attribute it to not training at all.
If you ignore your partner’s messages, and they decide to break up with you, you can take that rejection not as a sign that they don’t like you anymore, but as a sign that you’ve been ignoring them. You can blame the facts. Or choose to go out with someone else.
In other words, self-sabotage is a way to protect your ego by having the perfect excuse in case of failure or rejection.
People who fear failure or have low self-esteem are more likely to engage in this type of self-sabotage. In the short term, it may make you feel better about yourself, and it’s a way to protect your image in the eyes of others. However, this is not a recommended strategy. Because in the long run, of course, it’s going to be something like this. increase the likelihood of failure or rejection.
How to stop self-sabotage
If you really want to give a good presentation, you better prepare. I should have trained to win the race. And if you really want to be with your partner, you shouldn’t make them angry by ignoring their messages.
If you’re stuck in a habit of self-sabotage, it will take time to break it, but a healthier approach is within reach. One useful strategy is the so-called “Master Mindset”This includes viewing challenges as opportunities to learn and improve, rather than as deep judgments about your unique skills and worth. If you give your best at a work presentation or a running race and it doesn’t go perfectly, think about how you can do it better next time.
Another helpful strategy is to practice. self-pityThis includes treating yourself with the same kindness you would treat a close friend or relative, and recognizing that your worth does not depend on any particular opinion or outcome of a relationship.
If you feel close to a romantic partner, get used to that feeling of vulnerability and know that even if the relationship ends someday, it doesn’t mean you are inherently broken or unlovable. Remind yourself.
read more:
Will being too kind hinder your life?
Why some people don’t feel shame, according to psychologists
The Ultimate Anxiety Guide: The 6 Biggest Questions About Anxiety Answered by Psychologists
Why do I always cry when I watch movies on a plane?
Asked by: Samantha Osborne via email
To submit a question, please email questions@sciencefocus.com (remember to include your name and location)
Imagine waiting for your school exam results or having a dental appointment on the horizon. Many believe that preparing for uncertain outcomes by expecting the worst is a good strategy.
This way, you won’t be as shocked if the test results are disappointing or the dentist visit is unpleasant. Hence the phrase “hope for the best and plan for the worst.” But is this approach truly beneficial?
According to psychological research, the answer is no.
One downside of preparing for the worst is that it can lead to feeling sad and anxious before an event. By convincing yourself that something bad will happen, you are setting yourself up for negative emotions.
Thinking positively and expecting things to go well can actually make you feel better before your exam results or dental appointment. But what about when things don’t go as planned?
Unfortunately, research shows that people feel just as bad about disappointing outcomes whether they anticipated them or not. This applies immediately and even after the results are known.
Similar research has found that having negative expectations about a task like public speaking can make you feel worse, not better, right after performing it. The idea of emotional defensiveness doesn’t seem to work well.
These findings are relevant to the debate around trigger warnings, which aim to prepare individuals for emotionally challenging content. However, studies indicate that trigger warnings are not effective in emotional protection.
Concerns about over-optimism and complacency are valid, but optimism can boost motivation. Optimistic individuals tend to put more effort into their studies and typically achieve better grades as a result.
The key is to combine optimism with effort. Simply hoping for the best without taking action is not a sound strategy. Are you thinking positively and putting in the work needed to succeed?
If you have any questions, please email us at: questions@sciencefocus.com or send us a message on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Remember to include your name and location.
Check out our ultimate Interesting Information and more amazing science pages.
This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognising you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful.
Strictly Necessary Cookies
Strictly Necessary Cookie should be enabled at all times so that we can save your preferences for cookie settings.
