
As a cognitive psychoanalyst and former NHS mental health leader, Owen O’Kane presents a fresh perspective in his books, How to Become Your Own Therapist and Addiction to Anxiety. Instead of viewing anxiety as an enemy to conquer, he emphasizes the importance of embracing it. O’Kane challenges the prevalent brain-focused solutions circulating on social media, suggesting that we should begin with our bodies. Here are three practical approaches to transform your relationship with anxiety for better mental health.
1. Understand Anxiety – It’s Your Ally!
Traditional anxiety research tends to focus on “switching off” certain brain functions or reducing hormones. O’Kane argues that we should first develop a healthier relationship with anxiety, acknowledging its presence rather than merely trying to suppress it. Recognize that when anxiety arises, it signals fears that need attention; this protective mechanism may be trying to keep you safe.
If you perceive anxiety as a prompt from a supportive friend rather than an adversary, you can leverage its insights. For instance, if you’re anxious about a presentation, it’s your mind’s way of urging you to prepare and perform well!
However, treating anxiety as an enemy only amplifies your fear and may lead to missed opportunities. By acknowledging anxiety’s intention to safeguard you, you pave the way for more constructive coping mechanisms.
Ultimately, building a rapport with your anxiety and understanding its role is critical. Accept that while it may be uncomfortable, it exists for good reason, and rejecting it leads only to temporary relief but not genuine resolution.
2. Shift Your Focus to the Body, Not the Brain.
Many mental health professionals tend to concentrate on altering thought patterns, but O’Kane places emphasis on physical sensations. Anxiety often manifests physically; when your body feels tense, it signals to your brain that something is amiss, which can lead to irrational thoughts.
When you notice your body responding to stress, engage in activities that release that pent-up energy—be it through deep breathing, exercise, or even cold exposure. The goal is not to eliminate anxiety but to send calming signals back to your brain, allowing your rational mind to re-engage.
3. Document Your Thoughts to Tackle Uncertainty.
Research indicates that the average person has thousands of thoughts daily, many of which are negative or anxiety-inducing. When we experience anxiety, we tend to treat these thoughts as facts, perpetuating an anxiety cycle.
After acknowledging anxiety’s protective role and regulating your body, start actively documenting anxious thoughts. List the worries and evaluate their likelihood of happening. This process fosters rational thinking and diminishes the grip of anxiety over time.
Understand that uncertainty is inherent in life. O’Kane suggests embracing uncertainty rather than fearing it. Each time you adapt your response to anxiety, you forge new neural pathways, ultimately increasing your comfort level with anxiety.
Insights shared by Helen Thomson.
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Source: www.newscientist.com


