It all began with the unusual appearance of Elon Musk’s eyes.

In May, the president’s loyal companion looked visibly distressed while in the Oval Office. He laughed it off, attributing it to an incident with his five-year-old.

There were various theories circulating online. A wave of largely unverified speculation started to emerge, suspicious— and I must emphasize the word “suspected”— involving Musk; Trump’s deputy chief of staff, Stephen Miller; and his wife, political advisor Katie Miller. The Democrats posted an empty hotel room chair, signaling the infamous concept of cuckoldry.

I’m not alone in taking a twisted pleasure from other people’s relationship troubles. Subreddits like R/Relationships and R/AmitheasShole have become staples for viral posts, resembling portable soap operas or sitcoms, but with a certain spicy authenticity.

The saga involving Musk led me to R/Openmarriageregret, which reposts threads from the polyamory board for mining and warning stories about open relationships. These experiences suggest that juggling multiple relationships can twist us into unfamiliar shapes and potentially tear us apart.

The page opens with a tranquil introduction: “Life is about choices. Some people may regret theirs, while others take pride in them.”

It’s all very much a “don’t try this at home” scenario, intended for educational purposes.

Many posts unfold as you’d expect: a man pressures his wife for an open relationship, only to be stunned when he learns she’s sought after, while he feels like sexual kryptonite. But it can get even murkier.

One user wonders if it’s improper to “leave our honeymoon after my husband and his boyfriend kept abandoning me and my girlfriend.”

Another details a more contemporary sorrow: “My husband is keen on an open marriage to accommodate his AI girlfriend, claiming it’s the next step for them.” She describes him being increasingly distant, spending excessive time on his phone, smiling to himself, and retreating into his home office. He eventually hints at something significant.

No, it’s much worse. The user continues, “He expressed his desire to deepen the relationship with her,” which entails introducing AI to their children. “How am I supposed to remain married to someone who’s emotionally invested in a chatbot?”

In the comments, some share experiences of being enchanted by a simulation of a woman whose male partners don’t engage with him and are programmed to agree with everything he says.

The voyeurism in this group arises from two places: the related dramas are undeniably captivating, but so too is the way participants discuss these real-life scenarios. While commenters bring their own biases, they might not realize they’re entangled in the drama as well. The group’s members often subscribe to a single theme: individuals in open relationships crave novelty and attention, rendering the actual partner functionally irrelevant.

Naturally, theories don’t necessarily hold water. As long as alternatives continue to gain popularity, successful open relationships have existed for decades. Members in the group often move their irony forward, even in the presence of misinformation. “I really don’t know anyone in an open relationship or marriage,” admits one top commenter.

I recognize I’m complicit in what may be a somewhat unstable investment in this group. Yet, I can’t turn away. Who are these commenters? Who will experience heartache? Why are they so invested in the romantic troubles of others, their unraveling marriages? Why am I? The emotional thrill of gossip is undeniable; even typically humorous Democrats seem to thrive on it.

So let’s cast malice aside: I genuinely hope that the Musk-Miller situation resolves favorably. Claiming they belong together may indeed hold some truth!